只有童年才快樂?

從小,大人們就相繼告訴她:「童年是一生中最快樂的時光。」每聽到這句話,她就很害怕,害怕這是真的。

她告訴自己:他們只是想嚇我嘛,長大後一定會遇到更多的快樂。

可幸地,成長中她體會到其他大人發現不到的,更有層次的快樂。

那些認為童年是最快樂的人,對快樂只有「免費吃喝玩樂」的膚淺理解。

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專心做事就能快樂

買東西令人快樂,那是因為生活上起了些變化的愉悅感。

一枚介指能改變手部活動的氛圍、一個包包能改變隨身物的數量、一雙鞋子能改變衣服的曝光率。

但人的好心情不能老是靠外物來獲得,否則購物導致的財務問題又是一大煩惱。

怎樣才能自製好心情呢?

這是吾研究的課題。

依吾觀察,有魅力的人都能在不同場合維持良好的心境。

他們不一定都在哈哈大笑,有時只是淺淺的微笑,但那已經是「放馬過來」的淡定表情。

吾發覺,每當吾專注於一件事情,為它付出精神和心力,及後必定會愆生出一種自信心。

簡單如寫文章、整理房間、收拾信件、練yoga、修剪毛髮等,只要吾是全神貫注地去完成,心情就會往好的方向走。

如此推論,每天專心做自己喜歡的事,就是快樂的秘訣了。

快樂泉源建造工程

自從實踐極簡生活,吾得重新建立「快樂的泉源」。

這源頭其實一直不存在,一直未曾建立,只是以往在倚靠購物和娛樂來獲取快感或分散不安感。

清除了家中不能帶給吾任何由心而發的愉悅,決心不再倚靠買物來感受「生之喜樂」,那個精神支柱的缺席一下子變明顯了,不得不去面對那有生以來一直逃避的問題。

需要找尋讓自己活得有意義的活動,那份快樂,並不是從事一份埋沒良心地破壞環境,利用別人的無知來賺取金錢的工作,然後飛去外國享用美食和各種尊貴服務,或添置華美衣飾所能體會的。

始終相信,快樂不能只從物質享受上得到。傾向相信,快樂的基礎是健康的體魄和清晰的思維,而快樂的道路就是幫助別人。

現在日夜思索的就是吾能貢牽社會些甚麼。不知道那是甚麼,只好默默累積各種才能:學識、文化、品味……

不能漫無目的地去累積,應該要有方向地積集。

這一點,尚沒有很確切的答案。

(寫於2016年12月18日)

People Praise Products

People born and raised in this consumerist age give so much credit to products. Just take a look at the bank of haul and reviewing kind of videos!

We deploy our characters through products we keep around us, rather than the work we do.

Is it because most of us are employed to do uncreative work?

所謂的愛自己

「愛自己」一詞已被廣告商濫用,曲解成「溺愛自己」。

如果愛自己真的簡單如買一個新包、一雙新鞋、十根gel甲能了事,心理醫師,心靈導師為何早就失業,為甚麼跑出來寫書演講的越來越多?因為人們漸漸發現消費並不能帶來真正的優越感。

immediate gratification = spoiling yourself (e.g. shopping)
delayed gratification = nurturing yourself (e.g. learning)

一時炫耀的虛榮感,馬上又回到缺失感、自我懷疑、低成就感中,那又有何意義呢?

The Power of Happiness

If you look happy doing what you’re doing, people will come and ask you about it. Thus, enjoy what you’re doing.

Happiness is a powerful magnet.

While Cheerfulness attracts people, happiness makes them stay.

I thought fame equals influence. Since I want to change the world, I used to be obsessed with being famous.

Later I realized, you could be the most famous person, but the world wouldn’t change because of you.

You have to be a smiling person to draw people to you and to ask for your secrets to happiness.

Reviewing Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach

This 400+ pages hardcover (a daybook) I got from the public library because it was recommended in a mindfulness-themed book that I’d read earlier.

Some lovely quotes:

  • Everything in life is significant enough to be a continuous source of reflection.
  • Finding a quiet center in which to create and sustain n authentic life has become as essential as breathing.
  • Instead of comparing yourself to another womn, why not just take a wet leather lash and beat yourself senseless? It’s easier to recover from physical abuse than self-inflicted psychic brutality.

It wasn’t a read as enjoyable as expected, which is probably the fault of time, because self help books toady are seldom written in such a form.

The book is about experimenting with different daily routines, exercises and hobbies to see if these outer changes can be resulted in inner changes. Like on the 3rd-December page, the author suggested trying other physical ways to achieve the same spiritual effect of having sex.

At the end of each month, there are lists of day to day proposals. This book obviously don’t run of action plans and ideas. What it lacks though is solid theories to explain the mechanisms behind. The author does quote numerous icons, living or dead, but they aren’t enough to convince any well-read readers that certain ways of doings shall be effective.

To me, a book that really qualifies as one uses as many chapters in the book to market one big idea, like Greg McKeown does to his essentialism, like Kelly McGonial to her willpower, like Carol Dweck to her mindset… They use philosophies of science, sociology all that to case studies to support one single argument. And this book doesn’t fit in as one of those.

If you are new to decluttering your life and finding a peaceful state of mind or simply looking for inspirations, this can be a fun book to read. But if you are looking for something research-based, it isn’t for you.